Thursday, March 18, 2010

An Honest Being-With

Being with a friend in great pain is not easy. It makes us uncomfortable. We do not know what to do or what to say, and we worry about how to respond to what we hear. Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear than out of our care for the person in pain. Sometimes we say things like "Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday," or "You will soon be your old self again," or "I'm sure you will get over this." But often we know that what we're saying is not true, and our friends know it too.

We do not have to play games with each other. We can simply say: "I am your friend, I am happy to be with you." We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence. Sometimes it is good to say: "You don't have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you."

Henri Nouwen Society

<:))))><

2 comments:

ong sh said...

This is very true. Like going for a wake service or funeral service, we just lost of words seeing our friends in deep sorrow. Normally, we could only just keep silence and be with the friends' feeling.
'When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."Where have you laid him?"he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept.

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